So to recap before I go Into details, here’s a definition from last week,
Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.18 Nov 2017http://www.mayoclinic.org
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are usually described as being arrogant, self-centred and demanding. They are selfish individuals who are manipulative and have great difficulty with empathy and considering the needs, thoughts or ideas of other people. They believe themselves to be superior to others and think nothing of making others feel small. Their ego is such that it needs constant admiration and don’t even think of giving them criticism positive or otherwise, it just doesn’t sit well with them! They tend to crave the attention of others.
The individual with NPD struggles with relationships because they tend to put themselves first. As far as they are concerned, they are always right, their way is always best. Their grandiose opinion of themself means that they often exaggerate their accomplishments and talents. They perceive themselves as being quite special. Persons with this disorder tend to have mood swings too.
Though they may exhibit high self-esteem, this may merely be to cover up their own insecurities. As a past scapegoat of a narcissistic husband, the possibility of a perpetrator not having to take total responsibility for their actions is an idea not easy to entertain. However, when you have walked a path of healing its easier to see this from an angle of an unfortunate childhood. Mr Impatient had a dysfunctional upbringing. He never had a sense of belonging. I can understand his need to portray an air of confidence having been through his own trauma. He displayed a confidence that was not instilled in him. I suppose it was his defence mechanism against the world. What wasn’t ok was making me the enemy when all I wanted to be was his ally.
A relationship with someone who has NPD is a special living hell. They are easily hurt which makes the victim tend to walk on eggshells around their spouse. They tend to overreact to simple situations. When you speak to them about their flaws they make excuses. They have no intentions of changing anything about themselves. I remember once feeling neglected. Whenever we got home from work he would wash the car and the dog. He would come inside for supper when I called him in for it. Then he would usually spend the rest of the evening on the computer or on his phone. This had gone on for weeks. I plucked up the courage to talk to him about the issue. I was up early one morning making breakfast and lunch. When he came into the kitchen I smiled good morning, turned off the stove. Gently taking him by the hand I led him to the dinning table. My heart was thumping loudly, but I maintained eye contact as I held his hand. I spoke softly, used only ‘I’ sentences to own my emotions, not laying the blame at him. He listened quietly and without interrupting. I waited for him to respond. Why did I bother? He accused me of putting him in a box and trying to control him!
That experience was one of many and reflects how they generally refuse to take responsibility for anything they do that inflicts hurt or pain on others. They always find a way to blame others for the pain they create. Listening is not their greatest skill as they spend half the time interrupting but they are exceptional at neglecting the emotions of others. Though they can be charming and charismatic, they can switch to anger and are easily irritated especially when their ego is threatened. They are often suspicious of the motives of others and are socially withdrawn.
God never has to apologise because He never does wrong. He is the most superior being, yet cares for us His little children. He is so in tune with our emotions that He sent us the Holy Spirit to comfort us.
As for God, his way is perfect . . . Psalms 18:30The King James Bible
https://www.healthline.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder#traits https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9741#symptoms