A memory of this book was triggered the other day. Our Pastor asked us to purchase it as part of our premarital preparation. I smiled when the book came to mind because I remembered that though I partnered with a man who cared less, it was filled with delightful gems for couples. To this day I recollect the ones we adopted; ‘I would never intentionally hurt you’, ‘Team Hypolite’ (insert your own surname), and ’75+ more years!’
The authors, Gayle and Mike Tucker predicate that on a daily basis, both parties must make the conscientious and proactive decision to make positive choices.
Our attitude is always one of goodwill.
is another motto in their book. It implies that an individual decides that they will do whatever it takes to accommodate their spouse, that you will make reasonable changes if it is needed to strengthen the relationship.
There was one motto that was quite unexpected. I had to read it a few times!
Not only would I be crazy to leave you, but you’d be crazy to leave me!Page 24
They explain that
Focusing on your spouse’s positive qualities enhances the value you place on the relationship . . . It’s the second part of this motto that many people struggle with . . . Yet, many problems arise in a marriage where a proper self-valuation does not occur.page 25
Sometimes I don’t like you, but I will always love you.Page 40
Let’s pray about it.Page 80
I will express concerns and make requests without criticism or attack.Page 98
I will never attempt to fix or change you.Page 45
It is more important to love than to be right.Page 126
You’re stuck with me. Good, bad, or ugly, we’re committed to each other.Page 74
The bible doesn’t record the first wedding vows. God decided that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone; he needed a helper. He created a woman and brought her to him. Adam eventually named her Eve. He ‘knew’ his wife or consummated the union and Cain and Abel were the results (Genesis 2-3). No bands read, no church ceremony, no reception. What we do see is that Adam and Eve become lifelong partners. I’m pretty sure that initially they argued over whose fault it was that they got kicked out of Eden, but they had to work things out and move beyond losing their perfect home. The Creator gave them a foolproof relational model and they messed it up. He has given us an impeccable example, but Homo sapiens continue to corrupt it.
Don’t run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other. When you love others, you complete what the law has been after all along. Romans 13: 8.The Message Bible