So maybe I’m a bit weird that way; maybe you do the same thing, maybe you even know someone who does the same thing. I actually smile sometimes when I’m angry! Yes I wear the normal one that everyone has when happy and content, I even wear it as a greeting to friends and total strangers, however, sometimes I smile even when I’m angry. Freaky right? I don’t know where it comes from or when my emotions and facial muscles had the meeting about doing this paradox, but they did. It was voted on and put in motion without my consent. It’s a little hard to explain to someone that you are bothered about something when you’re beaming. I would find it hard to take me seriously if I were on the other side of the smile too. Ever read of the deadly terms used by women? I remember when I was forward the following on social media, it sure made me laugh and still does.
I suppose that sometimes it probably looked more like a smirk than anything else which may have made it hard to decipher my true emotional status. Having said that, it rarely matters what your emotional state is, it will be misconstrued and manipulated by the toxic person anyway. So I remember my normal smiles at compliments and in times of harmony. Then there were times when I wore my anger smile at him. In my head I would be saying “If you only knew what I was thinking you would actually run a mile babe.” I can’t really say the last time I wore my sadistic smile, maybe back then was the last time, but thinking back I think it was part of my defense mechanism. It helped me keep outward composure though I was boiling and hurting inside. I didn’t always want to give him the satisfaction of my volcano of emotions, but smiling (yes even sadistically so) helped me keep in check. Besides, it helped give the impression that the assault of destructive words didn’t faze me, but more often they cut deep like knives into my soul.
Do you know who else wore a smile in the face of adversity? Job. Job was tried in a way that no one else in the bible was. When he lost his possessions and his children he said,
Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him. Job 13:15King James Bible
Smiling may not take away the pain of a difficult situation but it may at least bring a semblance of peace.
Even if I say, ‘I’ll put all this behind me,
I’ll look on the bright side and force a smile,’ Job 9:27The Message Bible