I like animals. I like pets. I’ve yet to work out whether I am a cat or dog lover though I think I’ve had more interactions with the feline world. Cats Vs dogs! Anyway I digress.
I don’t actually remember what specifically led to my decision. It may have been an icing on the cake moment or the specific argument itself, but I was beyond angry. I had often told Mr. Impatient that one day he would push me too far, his usual response was that I was strong enough. Well it was time to show him that I had had enough and I wouldn’t be pushed around anymore.
I had a cousin who rented apartments, she just happened to have one available. She said I could stay for as long as I needed, then I asked her brother to help me move my stuff. I had to think about how I was going to execute my plan of moving out, without arousing the suspicion of Mr. Impatient. Unfortunately, I was obligated to travel the thirty minute journey to work with my ex-husband that morning. It was better to stick to the routine. As soon as he dropped me of at my workplace and drove away, I headed back to the bus stop to get a bus back. My adrenaline was pumping, it wasn’t likely that he would spot me but it wasn’t impossible since the town isn’t the kind you can get lost in. On the way I called my cousin so that we could arrive at the house at the same time.
The apartment was only partially furnished, so I took some essential stuff and bought a mattress to sleep on. I figured that once my ex-husband realised I wouldn’t be bullied, we would go to counselling. I was hoping that the fact that I packed up and left him, he would be more mindful of me as a fellow human being, as his wife. Later that evening he called as I knew he would when I didn’t show up at home. In his true Dictator fashion he demanded that I return home. I was unnaturally calm throughout the discourse. No, I wasn’t coming home. No I wouldn’t tell him where I was. No, I wouldn’t tell him when I planned to return either. He threatened, he quarreled but I stood my ground. He asked if we could talk the next day. I agreed to meet him at The Botanical Gardens. It was a public neutral place where he’d be unlikely to do anything too stupid to bring the attention of the public to us. When he showed up, he had the cutest puppy in tow. It was a cross between a German shepherd and a Doberman. I resisted the urge to scoop it up and play with it.
“Cute puppy, whose is it?” I asked by way of greeting.
Inwardly I groaned, you’re so hilarious, I thought to myself sarcastically. “How’d you work that out?” I asked.
He explained that his counsellor suggested that having a pet was a good opportunity to help couples bond. She clearly didn’t understand the kind of man he was. “Great” I said, with zero emotion. Now I have two infants to deal with, what could possibly go wrong? I sat on the concrete stairs and played with the puppy. It was the first and last time I allowed myself to do so. I couldn’t trust that Mr. Impatient one day in the future, wouldn’t harm the dog to spite me, or that he wouldn’t use the dog as some kind of scapegoat for his whims. If I remained emotionally detached from the puppy it would be ok. My folks had gotten a German Shepherd once when my siblings and I were teens. She was fiercely loyal and protective. Suppose I became this dog’s primary carer, and my ex-husband and I got into one of our animated arguments? Suppose it attacked him to protect me? I couldn’t allow the adorable puppy to make me or itself vulnerable. I shutdown my instinctive disposition for all things cute and cuddly.
The moral of the story? The narcissist will prey on your Achilles heel. What that may be is of no consequence to them. As far as they are concerned, it’s another way to control you, an alternative way to enforce their will onto your own. They fail to realise that even The Great God Almighty gives every human being the freedom to choose to serve Him or not. Even though rejection hurts Him, He respects the choice. If the great orchestrator can respect the choices of His subordinates, why can’t a fellow human being?
Fools are headstrong and do what they like; wise people take advice. Proverbs 12:15The Message Bible