He was always trying to control time. He didn’t care about being late. I don’t like being tardy. I don’t like others wasting my time, I appreciate it even less when others waste mine.
I remember the first few weeks of driving to work with him. He always dropped me off on time. However, at some point he started to complain about how he hated being stuck in traffic and how he preferred to leave home a little later, that way he could drive straight through into town without encountering the usual hotspot. I pointed out that that would mean we would always be late. He countered that he could start work at any time he wanted. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have his flexi-Time. One morning I was so late that my supervisor had a word with me about the issue. When I suggested to Mr Impatient that I would take the bus, it resulted in an argument.
One evening while he was out, I changed all the clocks in the house so that they were all fifteen minutes early. I was actually impressed with my ‘out of the box’ plan! The next morning, he came into the bedroom with a very unamused look on his face. “What’s wrong with all the clocks in the house? Did you change their time?” I took a deep breath and admitted what I had done. When he asked me why, I explained that I was always late for work and the other day I was so late that my supervisor spoke to me about it. I was never late before we met. Thereafter, we were not late everyday, but we were not consistently early either. Control.
When I was elected to be head of music , I told my worship leaders that I expected them to be at church on time. My then husband always knew when it was my turn to lead worship because I always reminded him in the week, the night before and in the morning. One of two things would happen. Either we had an argument or we arrived at church late. Control.
If we went out on the weekend it was only after he would make the suggestion that we go to a particular place. If we took a drive around the island it was because he fancied it. When we ate out it was because he made the choice for himself. Our time was centred around him and his needs.
If your ideas and suggestions are consistently negated or ignored, it could be that your partner simply isn’t listening or hearing you. Chances are it is a more profound issue. This behaviour of ignoring actually reflects your non-importance to your partner. It’s as simple as that. You are no longer valued by them. Yet God values you so much that He sent His one and only Son to redeem you. He loves hearing you. The value He places on you is immeasurable. Let that sink in!
There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 The Message Bible