I love music, always have and always will. It’s often the first thing I turn to when I’m distressed and feeling stunted. There are certain songs that remind me that regardless of my current storm, God isn’t done with me yet. He’s teaching me a lesson about something; maybe for myself or to encourage someone else I will meet in the future. He decides that at that particular moment in time, I need some refining in the fire of life. My faith needs space to deepen. He wants me to walk closer to Him.
It was time for bed but I was restless. My emotional pain was still quite raw. Even though I kept busy during my days, at night the gloom of my life replayed itself over and over again. A WhatsApp message came through from a friend of mine from church. She had sent me a link. I saw ‘Laura’s Story’ and shook my head. I didn’t want to hear anyone’s story, I was trying to weather my own narrative. For me, It wasn’t such a great time to hear someone else’s tragedy.
However, when my nightly quota of tears was spent, I picked up my phone and clicked on the link. I recognised the song immediately because she had sung it in church once ages ago, but I was unfamiliar with the lyrics. I concentrated as Laura sang. It was such a simple melody; beautiful yet filled with past pain.
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops? what if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near? What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?’Blessings; Song by Laura Story (2011).
Yes, I was in a very dark place. This obscurity that had become my friend was like a security blanket wrapped protectively around me. I couldn’t see any light, only darkness. Now here was Laura Story implying that my pain was a blessing in disguise? What Would have happened if I had stayed with my husband? His behaviour would have gotten progressively more controlling. He would have continued to put pressure on me to withdraw from my family and friends. His mood swings would have put me on a delinquent emotional rollercoaster . . . permanently. It would have been a life of survival . . . barely.
God devised and planned my exodus. I just had to show up and play my part. I had escaped and it was a blessing in disguise.
God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise! Jeremiah 17:14The Message Bible.