The River

One of the things my ex-husband and I loved, was being outdoors and anything to do with nature. A number of our dates incorporated our inclination to be in nature. On one such occasion he took me to a river close to his work place. He warned me that the water would be cold and to look out for snakes. I was only bothered about the latter. Some folks would term it ‘irrational’ but I have a deep seated fear of snakes, I really hate them!

We turned off the road to a foot track. It wasn’t far. It was a cosy pool though not deep. I was about to step into the shallow pool when he reminded me of it’s coldness, “I think you’ve forgotten that I’m a cold water baby. I also believe that you are stalling!” With that I stepped into the pool and immersed myself. The water was exhilarating and refreshing. When I emerged he was standing on a stone and seemed reluctant to get wet. He was hoping from foot to foot as if plucking up the courage to get in.

“You’re a chicken!”

“No, it’s not that. You have to choose the exact right moment step in.”

“You are behaving like a scared cat! Fortunately for you, I am here to support your transition into the water.”

“But I don’t need any help. I will just stand guard while you enjoy the water.”

I screamed with laughter. What a line! I splashed him. The impact of the icy cold water on his body, made him inhale sharply. He quickly jumped in. We laughed long and hard that afternoon.

The problem with abusive relationships is that the happy good times are far and few between (for some). We had good days and we made wonderful memories. He could be charming when he wanted and needed to be. However, it had no longevity. When I eventually realised that there was a pattern (a short phase of love followed by a longer phase of no love), I reprogrammed myself not to be drawn in by his ‘love’. It would always be fleeting. It could never be trusted or relied on. It was so fleeting that I often wondered if the ‘love’ phase actually happened to me.

God’s love for humanity, His love for me is unwavering. It always has been and always will be. Probably there is no human being on this planet who can love unconditionally like God, but it is no excuse to settle for a ‘love’ that falls so short that it only causes agony and affliction. Don’t ever sell yourself short.