Infection & Toxicity

My humble apologies for my absence. I’ve been having having some technical difficulties which still exist but I’m learning to work around them!

Asymptomatic means that there isn’t any evidence of a specific disease or illness. The individual feels fine and sticks to their usual routines and habits. It is business as usual. The toxic person is devoid of any septic traits . . . at first. Their personality is believably human whilst exuding a sense of being a mentally healthy adult. They are thoughtful in ways which can be mind blowing because they are somehow able to zoom in on a need or concern that you may have though never really voiced. For example, maybe your parent isn’t in the best of health. You are naturally worried about their future. At some point this individual will raise a conversation about being dedicated to looking after sick relatives. It makes you feel at ease and brings a false sense of security because as far as you are concerned, and based on the heart to heart you both had, you’re pretty sure that when the time comes, this person will support you in caring for your sick parent. This person has graduated to pretty awesome because now you know that you will not be compelled to put your parent in a nursing home. They just genuinely seem to sense the essence of who you are. They absolutely encourage and support the things you want to do to develop yourself. They are warm and down to earth. They are a breath of fresh air and most importantly you enjoy spending time with them.

Incubation is the time period between catching a virus and showing symptoms. Once the toxic person has successfully manoeuvred you into their happy, trusting and peaceful state, the cracks start to show . . . just a little. It’s laborious to keep up the facade but they know that they can’t let their guard down too much since they know you would bolt right out of their life! The symptoms start to surface. They may start declining invitations to family / friend gatherings. At this present moment they are no longer bothered about meeting people who are significant to you. They have made their mental notes and are already planning how to systematically isolate you from them. In response to you, they may state that they don’t like crowds and had only been doing it to please you. It maybe that the little spontaneous gestures are no longer forth coming. The symptoms at this stage are not enough to raise alarm bells and sometimes the toxic person has a ‘valid’ reason for it.

Prodromal stage of infection follows the incubation and this is when all the possible symptoms will manifest themselves. The mild symptoms of the incubation period will most likely be full throttle. The toxic person will blatantly make ever increasing demands and voice unreasonable expectations. You will be informed of who you can see and when, what you should wear, how you spend your money, what you should be doing around the home and how to do it. You’ll experience their petulant tempers, caustic sarcasm and frigid indifference. It is a noticeable escalation of their fanaticism. The negativity is severe and potent.

The latter stages of infection are decline and convalescence. Though a patient may become susceptible to secondary infections, the decline stage shows a decrease of symptoms and during convalescence the patient gradually recovers their health. Now here’s the thing about decline and convalescence in toxic relationships; the symptoms never disappear they simply come and go. Mostly they come. Convalescence only happens if the victim escapes. Even if they do extricate themselves they will always bare the scars. The degree to which they heal tends to depend on how long the victim endured the lethal relationship and their resilience.

I don’t know what the statistics are on how many people are in emotionally abusive relationships. I don’t know the statistics on the recovery of victims of emotional abuse. No doubt the numbers vary depending on where you live. I know that if there was only one person in the world who is in an emotionally abusive relationship, it is one person too many. The present global pandemic has claimed many lives. Emotional abuse is also very prevalent in our societies. It claims the mental well being of many every day. Do your homework, find out about this person you have fallen for. Pay attention in the incubation period. These are indicative of the red flags, look into them, explore them, don’t ignore any of them. If you are in the prodromal stage it isn’t too late to leave. It’s never too late to save your life and keep yourself safe.

You know something? “There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole, there is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul!” There is no pain or suffering that The Great Physician can’t heal, hallelujah! There is no escaping our humanity which means that, sometimes life really hurts. God does promise to weather our storms with us, and help us heal and overcome.

He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds, Psalm 147: 3 The Message Bible.

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